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J.  U.r.s.u.l.a  Q.u.i.l.l.e.n
01 December 2014 @ 07:24 pm
Lyria: It's not gonna happen this year because I am sick, tired and broke, but next year I am throwing a Krampus party and I will have an epic Krampus costume. Mark your calendars and start planning your outfit now.

Ursula: You could crash next year's Santaconda! Bad Santas and Krampus rampage. A Krampage, if you will....

Lyria: IT'S A KRAMPAGE!!!!

Effie: Okay, this now officially has to happen.

Lyria: Oh, it will. I will put it on the calendar a year in advance. I did it for the End of the World party, and everyone knows how epic that was.
 
 
J.  U.r.s.u.l.a  Q.u.i.l.l.e.n
01 December 2014 @ 05:45 pm
A few weeks ago a steampunk aquaintance pinged me on Facebook. He was looking for local writers to submit blurbs for a fundraising calendar. The working title was "Stand Up, Durham! - Walking Through Fairy Tales" Their models chose themes, shoes and props, and a photo shoot happened.

True to form when it comes to writing deadlines, I didn't crack open the Dropbox folder until the day of the deadline. I checked with my friend. "Which ones aren't taken yet?"

"Do 'Evil Easter,'" he said.

We could choose any writing form ... poetry, prose, whatever, up to 200 words. I stared at the photo. No inspiration. To get my mind working, I wrote my thoughts about the image, mostly regarding what I would have done if I had shot the photo. I added and cut until I had 200 words. During that process a sliver of thought emerged, which gave me the voice for the piece.  I started working on the piece itself. It jumped out fully formed in less than 20 minutes with barely any editing.

The project director was thrilled (whew). Calendars will be printed next week and they're planning a launch party in mid-December. The Independent Weekly may even do a short piece on the project. Dang.

Looking at it now, I've warmed up to the photo. The text could use some tigtening up, but I'm leaving it as-is:

Evil Easter

“So you really have the flu? I thought they were kidding. I had to see this.”

“Your sympathy is touching,” he said, after an epic honk into his hankie. He looked her up and down. “You expect to take all the baskets ‘round … walking mostly on grass ... in those heels?” he said.

She rolled her eyes, snapped her gum and snorted. “They’re magic. Duh.”

He closed his eyes, but gave a short nod. His options at this point were limited. One long white ear flopped forward. “So, just eggs and …a head?”

“Basically. It’s the thought that counts, right?”

“So what exactly are we thinking here?” She regarded him with icy blue eyes and a frighteningly cheerful smile. Seconds before the sun was suddenly obscured by a cloud, he noticed that she cast no shadow on the ground.

“So, eggs and a head it is, he said brightly.” You aren’t going to do anything
....permanent, are you?”

“Relax, Pete, she said.” He very nearly did.


Durham Calendar Project - Evil Easter
 
 
J.  U.r.s.u.l.a  Q.u.i.l.l.e.n
07 November 2014 @ 04:17 pm
Emails between my sister (T) and her daughter (S) discussing storage of Shauna's car during her next posting in Afghanistan:

Thjora: Linda says we can park a car at her house. I can swap them out and drive yours every once in a while so it doesn't sit around too long.

Shauna: Are you sure? Cause I can store it.

Thjora: Your call. But free at Linda's house. If you end up gone longer, we can store it...And I can go joy riding in it once in awhile.

Shauna: No Thelma and Louise.

Thjora: I was gonna to do a bunch of other stuff first ...
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J.  U.r.s.u.l.a  Q.u.i.l.l.e.n
05 November 2014 @ 07:18 pm
By the eloquent Frank Jacobs:

"Dear blue state friends who feel like they have something clever or witty to say about folks in NC today:

You people really have no idea what we've been up against here. And honestly, after four months of one stupefying attack ad after another, paid with tens - HUNDREDS - of millions of dollars from out of state groups, clogging our airwaves with non-stop bullshit, I honestly couldn't bloody care less what folks outside of North Carolina think about anything - but you're my friends, so when you pull this, it hurts and angers me. So I'm gonna lay it out for you.

You know, us red state liberals have to work and fight and put up with enough without having to deal with condescending, patronizing horseshit from you guys.

Seriously, people. I love you all, but don't even fucking talk to me as if you're the smart, strong, dedicated ones because you happen to live in a place where the streets are paved with hippies and you can pull fresh, Democratic victories off a tree in your backyard every morning. You want to talk about being strong and dedicated? Let's see how you'd react when your candidates fail in five out of every six elections FOR YOUR ENTIRE VOTING LIFE. Shit, you can't even stand it when your guy loses in someone else's state. You'd utterly melt down. It would fucking break you.

So do us a favor: go smoke your legal dope, or have a cronut, or eat an artisanal dick, or whatever it is you guys do when you're not congratulating yourselves on your superiority, and let us recover from what's been a grueling and traumatizing election season. Then we can go back to you telling your funny little "inbred southern redneck" jokes and we'll all pretend to laugh along with you again."
 
 
J.  U.r.s.u.l.a  Q.u.i.l.l.e.n
21 September 2014 @ 09:30 am
Yesterday was supposed to be my Glorious Return to Livejournal, but I let Facebook suck me in again. Also there was tired. Lots of it. I'm putting that down to the return of the hot flashes about a week ago, exciting new stress at work and coming changes at home. So much ground to cover since my last posting spree nearly a year ago. Nearly a year. For shame.

I'd let stress drag me down from working out and damage my eating habits, but the coming changes (and my shrinking wardrobe) have been enough to get me moving again. Autumn is also a huge motivator for me. Two pounds lost in the first week and a flat stomach (when standing, anyway), and I'm starting to feel muscles again.

My weapons of choice for the first three weeks is an hour of cardio every day - half an hour each of elliptic trainer and hula hooping. That's right - hooping. If I had to choose the one that's giving the most physical and mental benefits, it'd be hooping, hands down. More about this later.

The Facebook sesson wasn't a total waste. I learned that it's lot easer now to upload photos to LJ, so I got a good start on building my LJ gallery. I'll also scour my Facebook for any posts that are worth re-posting here, using the original post dates to maintain the timeline. The Plan is to do my main posting here and paste selected entries to Facebook.

Gloomy day today, which is good for focus. First I'll knock out the cardio, then work as long as I can stand it. I'm determined to get my shop in order by mid-week. Storm is coming at work. Batteninig down the hatches.
 
 
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: Dead Can Dance: "Mesmerized"
 
 
J.  U.r.s.u.l.a  Q.u.i.l.l.e.n
02 September 2014 @ 10:03 am


I had a Drunk Mostly Naked Chick following me around asking me to tell her what to do late Sunday night. It looked like she was wearing a sideless one piece bathing suit with knee high boots. Looked like a fashion model.

Because I had horns and a red jacket she decided that I was Satan. "What shall we do, O Satan?" I was thinking, "Maybe a gallon of coffee, a complete change of blood, perhaps a pair of pants, and using your inside voice would be a good start. Satan has a hangover."

She had friends who seemed to be making sure she was safe, otherwise Satan would have delivered her to her hotel in a CVS shopping cart.

(Link to Facebook comments)

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J.  U.r.s.u.l.a  Q.u.i.l.l.e.n
24 August 2014 @ 10:10 am
Today's shopping list: denatured alcohol, goggles, model paint, wide black lace, light bulbs, batteries, bread and sake.
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J.  U.r.s.u.l.a  Q.u.i.l.l.e.n
23 August 2014 @ 10:11 am
"I'm no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else." ~ Tina Belcher
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J.  U.r.s.u.l.a  Q.u.i.l.l.e.n
22 August 2014 @ 10:13 am
Started the weekend off with three episodes of Firefly, re-sizing a hoop skirt, blueberry vodka and shooting my ray gun. Like you do.
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J.  U.r.s.u.l.a  Q.u.i.l.l.e.n
21 July 2014 @ 10:17 am
"Don't give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping."
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